TROUBLE
by snoozin81
Summary: ONE SHOT! Two lonely people find out they have more in common then they thought


Author: Susan/Snoozin81  
Genre: Romance, Drama  
Rating: T, for minor language.  
Teaser: Two lonely people realize they have more in common then they originally thought.  
Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi if I did Palex would never have happened, Jay would have hooked up with Ellie not Emma, and Craig would never ever ever have been with Manny!

Authors Note: A huge thanks to Annah (Stab My Back.) for a fantastic Beta and pretty much for being a kick a friend in general. I dedicate this to the Jaylie fandom for feeding my love of Jaylie and giving me idea's and inspiration.

It probably wasn't a great idea to be walking the streets of Toronto alone in the middle of the night. But Sean was gone and the old urge for sharp metal against soft skin was bubbling up inside of me. I thought the fresh air would help chase away the urge but so far it was only adding to it. I was alone. It was a feeling I should have been use to, a feeling I'd felt most of my life.

A noise in the distance drew my attention to the play ground up ahead. The swings moved in the wind like ghost of children past at play. The thought sent a shiver down my spine but I pushed myself forward needing the comfort of a time when things were simple. When the only decision you had to make was which piece of playground equipment to play on first.

I sat down on one of the empty swings listening as it filled the night with a groan of protest. I set the swing in motion as I starred up into the star filled sky. How many of those stars had I wished on, to be someone else, anyone else. Long ago I'd come to the realization that wishes didn't come true and then Sean walked into my life. Just as I was starting to believe, naturally I got smacked back down to reality. Wishes and dreams didn't come true; at least not for a girl named Ellie Nash.

I sighed, my eyes traveling the length of the play ground. Everything that had seemed so large and scary to a little, five year old, red head was now tiny and anything but threatening. I'd long ago mastered the whirl-around and conquered my fear of heights on the sliding board. I wished there was some kind of playground equipment that could prepare me for the next stage of my life.

My eyes caught a shadow stumbling in the distance. It moved along the tree line that separated the playground from the party scene. A flash of fear rushed through me as all of my senses came to life. A million 'what if's' rushed through my head as I watched. The shadow seemed to stop then slump to the ground, unmoving. I thought about leaving, running home and never looking back but the same thing that had propelled me into action when Amy collapsed was now forcing me towards the shadow.

I recognized him before I even reached him. How many times had he passed out in that same position on the worn out couch of Sean's...my apartment? I knelt down beside him lifting his head to rest on my knee.

"Jay," I said tapping his cheek gently to wake him up.

He groaned but made no attempt to open his eyes as he cleared his throat and replied, "I always knew you were a vampire."

I rolled my eyes before standing up quickly letting his head fall to the ground. His eyes shot open as his head bounced off the grass. If looks could kill I'd have dropped dead right there on the spot.

"Damn, Red, my head was already pounding. What are you trying to do kill me?" He yelped rubbing his head with one hand while using the other to prop himself up.

"Don't tempt me." I replied sitting back down on the grass beside him. "You almost gave me a heart attack. What are you doing out here a two o'clock in the morning, anyway?"

"I could ask you the same thing," He replied lying back and closing his eyes. After a short silence he mumbled, "It's not safe."

"Neither was sitting at home, alone." I said lying back so my head was resting beside his.

"Any word from Sean on when he's coming home?" Jay asked.

I shook my head no then realizing he couldn't see me with his eyes still closed added, "I'm not sure he's ever coming home."

Jay grunted some sort of agreement before saying, "Sand, surf, sun, babes in bikinis, who could blame him."

"You're a pig." I said only half teasing.

"No," He replied. "I'm a guy."

A small laugh escaped me but I refused to give up the fight, "Doesn't mean you can't be a pig too."

"Okay, okay," He replied giving in. "I'm a pig but a pretty cool one." 

"Sometimes," I added with a small glance in his direction.

It was true. There had been times when he wasn't a complete jerk. When he'd kiss Alex on the cheek and whisper sweet nothing in her ear. Okay, so maybe the sweet nothings had been a little on the perverted side but the effect was still the same. When things had started going down hill with Alex and he'd mope around the apartment showing he really did have feelings, and of course, when we were headed home from Wasaga, minus one. He didn't bh about the waterworks or the lack of conversation. He even put the bickering with Emma on hold to hand us tissues while trying his hardest not to say something stupid or offending.

He was misunderstood in the same ways that I was, rough around the edges with a soft spot somewhere in the middle. I felt bad for him as I realized I wasn't the only one who'd lost something when Sean had stayed behind. I wasn't the only one feeling lonely at two o'clock on a Thursday morning in the middle of July.

"He's probably better off in Wasaga." Jay said breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen between us. "I'd probably have ended up screwing up his life too. My wreckage list is piling up, Rick, Jimmy, Spinner, Emma, Alex."

"Don't," I said a little more forcefully then I'd meant. "You can't blame yourself for Rick's actions."

"Why not, everyone else does." He replied.

"I don't. You didn't force Rick to bring a gun to school, to point it at Jimmy, and then pull the trigger. You didn't force Rick to then go after Emma," I explained trying to rationalize with him.

"No. But I did set up the paint and feathers prank and I did point the finger at Jimmy," He shot back.

"Jay, you had no way of knowing he was going to snap like that, no one did." I added.

He turned his head and looked at me for the first time since I'd laid down next to him. His blue eyes flashing confusion as he asked, "Why are you defending me? You don't even like me."

"That's not true. Besides you're being hard enough on yourself for the both of us." I offered with a little smile.

"You're pretty cool, Red." He replied. Then after a short pause he added, "If you tell anyone I said that I'll kill you."

I laughed, not one of the fake ones I'd been using lately, but a real laugh. It felt good to be lying in the damp grass, staring up at a blanket of stars, laughing like I hadn't laughed in months. It was weird that it was Jay who was making me feel alive again and not Marco or Ashley.

I closed my eyes soaking in the moment of peace. For the first time in a long time my head was clear. We remained there quietly for close to an hour. I was on the edge of falling asleep when Jay broke the silence again, "I should probably get you home."

"You can barely stand up, how do you expect to get me home?" I asked rising up on my elbows and looking down at him. "Give me your keys."

"Hell, no, are you crazy? Do you even know how to drive?" He asked looking up at me.

"Yes, now give me the keys." I replied holding my hand out and waiting. He just shook his head, refusing to give them to me. I made a little huffy noise before sitting all the way up and reaching for his pocket.

He quickly moved away saying, "Oh, no you don't, Red." Then after a pause he added, "I don't feel very good."

I watched as he lurched forward and threw up into a near by bush. Memories of my other life flashed through my head. I pushed them away, grabbing Jay's hat that had fallen off during his hasty retreat and moved to kneel beside him.

"You okay?" I asked knowing it was a stupid question.

"Just peachy," He mumbled as he sat back cradling his head in his hands.

I gave him a few seconds to catch his breath before asking, "Can I have the keys now?"

He gave in, slowly reaching into his pocket and pulling out the keys. He held them out to me but swiftly pulled them away when I went to reach for them.

"Come on, Jay, I'll trade you, the hat for the keys." I offered holding up the hat so he could see it. He finally gave up the keys, tossing them to me while at the same time snatching his hat from my hand.

"If you wreck my car..." He started settling the hat back on his head in its usual backwards position.

"I know, I know, you'll kill me." I replied finishing his sentence for him as I stood. "Now let's get you up."

Jay was heavy and getting him loaded into the car was not an easy task. But climbing behind the steering wheel made it all worth it. I put the key in the ignition and turned it. The car immediately filled with ear numbing loud rock music. Jay groaned in the seat beside me as he reached over and slapped it off. I fought the urge to laugh and tell him it was his own stupid fault his head was pounding. I figured there'd be time for that later. I backed the car out of its parking spot noting that the Ravine was pretty much empty due to the late hour.

It took less than twenty minutes to get back to the tiny apartment that Sean and I had once called 'ours'. The responsibility of rent and up keep now solely rested on my shoulders. Suddenly my brain wasn't so clear anymore and I wasn't feeling so alive. I stopped the car in front of the run down duplex but made no immediate move to get out.

"You okay," Jay asked shifting in his seat to look at me through half opened eyes.

I jumped slightly having been under the impression that he was asleep. Then I turned and replied, "Yeah, just trying to figure out how I'm going to get you inside."

"You're not." He answered simply.

"You've already given me the keys and there's no way I'm letting you go anywhere. The way I see it you've got two options. You can either sleep out here in the car or you can crash on the couch like you use to." I explained taking the keys from the ignition and clutching them tight in my left hand so he couldn't snatch them away.

He glanced from me back to the apartment then back to me before asking, "Are you sure?"

"Positive," I answered giving him a reassuring smile.

I climbed out of the car and made my way around it to help him but he was already half rolling, half falling out. I shook my head as I helped him up then with my foot I kicked the door shut and led him up the walkway towards the door.

Once inside I sat him down on the couch before heading to the bathroom to grab some Tylenol. When I came back out he was slouched down. His head was resting on the worn out arm but his feet were still hanging over the front. I sat down beside him and handed him the pills along with a can of soda I'd grabbed from the kitchen.

He took them only sitting up long enough to take a sip from the can before sitting it on the coffee table. He looked different lying there half passed out, almost innocent. I stifled the laugh that was threatening to escape. Jay and innocent really didn't go together.

"Kind of weird, isn't it?" He asked. His voice was so soft I almost didn't hear it.

"What?" I asked in return.

"Being here without Cameron," He answered as he kicked off his shoes. He stretched his feet out over my lap and I didn't stop him.

"Yeah, it is." I added leaning back and resting my head on the back of the couch. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the sound of Jay's breathing. It was rhythmic and comforting the same way listening to Sean's breathing had been. I fell into a sound sleep. The kind I'd been longing for but hadn't had since Sean left. I figured it had something to do with the breathing.

The next morning I found myself curled up between the back of the couch and Jay. My head was resting on his chest and his arm was resting on my hip. The urge to jump up and run was fleeting. At that moment I couldn't think of anywhere else I'd rather be.

"Red, you awake?" He asked dashing my dreams of drifting back to sleep.

I held my breath thinking maybe if I didn't move he'd think I was still asleep but I had never been a very lucky person. I felt his free hand brushing the hair out of my face as he tried to see if I was awake or not.

"Yeah," I mumbled, pretending I hadn't been awake for fifteen minutes. That I hadn't been enjoying the feel of his arm wrapped around me or the sound of his heart beating through his tee shirt.

"You mind, my arm's numb." He replied forcing it to move when it was the last thing I wanted to do.

"Sorry," I said climbing across him before heading into the kitchen.

"It's cool," He replied sitting up and shaking his arm a little to wake it up. "I should probably get going. Got my keys?"

"They should be on the coffee table." I called back from the kitchen. What I really wanted to say was, 'don't go, don't go'.

I held my breath and listened as he picked up the keys. I waited for the front door to open and close but it didn't. I turned around to find myself face to face with him, or well face to chest.

"Thanks," He said leaning down and kissing me on top of the head.

I nodded at a loss for words. It was one of those moments that I'd rarely seen when Jay let his guard down and showed genuine emotion. I smiled up at him while telling myself that what I was feeling had more to do with Sean then it did with Jay, but I was wrong. It had everything to do with Jay.

"I'll see you later," I asked hoping I didn't sound as desperate as I felt.

"Maybe," He replied stepping a little closer. His eyes darkened in a way I'd never noticed before. It caused every hair on the back of my neck to stand up and goose bumps to pop up on my arm.

"Jay," I said my breath catching in my throat but before I could continue he leaned down and kissed me, the way he used to kiss Alex, the way I used to kiss Sean. I knew in that moment I was in a load of trouble and there was no getting out of it.


End file.
